When was the last time you complained? It is so easy for us to get caught up in complaining! Most of us make a complaining statement several times a day. The traffic was bad, the kids didn’t listen, work was stressful. I’m tired of cleaning, money is tight, I don’t have enough time. The thing about complaining is it feeds our negative thought cycle and makes our mood worse. Generally complaining doesn’t change or improve the situation we are complaining about. The situation stays the same. Complaining, just like negative thinking impacts our mood in a big way! Not only will it impact our mood, but by complaining we are sharing our negative emotions with someone else. There is a ton of research supporting the fact that what we think impacts how we feel. If we indulge in our negative thoughts and voice them, it hurts us.
If you find yourself complaining on a regular basis, I have a challenge for you*. If you hear yourself beginning to complain…stop. Quietly sit with the emotion you are feeling. Maybe it is frustration, hurt, fear, sadness, or anger. After you sit with your emotion for a minute, see if there is a lesson you can take from your desire to complain. For example, if you want to complain about sitting in traffic maybe you are receiving a lesson in patience. Are you are upset because your kids are fighting. Perhaps their fighting is a message that they need support tending to underlying feelings in the relationship. Maybe you are complaining about a friendship. After examination, you realize the relationship is not a healthy one for you to be in.
After you consider the lesson learned from the complaint, let it go. Learning what you can do to improve the situation will do more for your happiness than complaining. Finally, take action on your lesson.
Counseling is a great way to create change in your life. Finally, you can call 720-583-9332 to schedule a free consultation or appointment with a counselor.
*The idea for this challenge is credited to Kevin Dougherty.
Written By Dr. Steffanie Stecker
Dr. Steffanie Stecker a licensed psychologist and the owner and clinical director of Mountain Vista Psychology, PLLC.
In addition, she is a board certified neurotherapist (BCN E5669) and board certified in QEEG (QEEG-D). Less than 100 people world wide are board certified in QEEG, which indicates competency in reading QEEGs and choosing neurofeedback protocols. Dr. Stecker is passionate about brain based effective therapy and creating a safe relationship for her clients to create change. She loves what she gets to do each day!