Identifying Different Parenting Styles

Much like everything in life, there are differences in the way people parent their children.

People often want to know which parenting style they are using, and which one is the best overall. The truth is that there is no one right way to parent because every parent and every child has unique needs. Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, described three distinct parenting styles based on her research in the 1960s. These styles are characterized by varying levels of parental responsiveness and demandingness.

The three parenting styles are: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive.

A fourth style, neglectful, was added later based on work by other researchers. These four parenting styles are still widely used in the psychology world today. Since the 1960s, much more research has been conducted about the four parenting styles. Researchers, psychologists, doctors, and other mental health professionals have come together to have conversations and talk about the sometimes controversial topic of how to be a “good” parent. The general consensus is every parenting style has pros and cons and there is no such thing as a “perfect” parent! Here is more information about the styles.

Authoritative Parenting:

• Characteristics: High responsiveness, high demandingness.
• Approach: These parents are both nurturing and assertive. They set clear standards and limits for their children but also encourage independence and open communication. They use reasoning and positive reinforcement rather than punitive measures for learning. 
• Outcomes for Children: Children often develop into confident, capable, and socially adept individuals. They tend to perform well academically and exhibit good emotional regulation. A challenge of this parenting style is it requires a high level of energy, patience, and consistency from parents. Sometimes, two parents do not have the same style of parenting, which can be confusing and conflicting for the child. 

Authoritarian Parenting:

• Characteristics: Low responsiveness, high demandingness.
• Approach: Authoritarian parents enforce strict rules and expect obedience without question. They often rely on punishment rather than positive reinforcement and have high expectations with little warmth or feedback.
• Outcomes for Children: Children may become obedient and proficient but often suffer from low self-esteem, poor social skills, and higher levels of anxiety and depression. In addition, some children may rebel against strict controls, leading to behavioral issues.

Permissive Parenting:

• Characteristics: High responsiveness, low demandingness.
• Approach: Permissive parents are indulgent and lenient. They provide few rules or expectations and avoid confrontation, acting more like friends than authority figures.
• Outcomes for Children: Children often have high self-esteem and feel valued and loved. These children tend to be more creative and have good social skills due to a lack of rigid constraints. On the other hand, these children might struggle with self-control and authority. They often exhibit higher levels of creativity and empathy but may face challenges with academic performance and behavioral issues.

Neglectful Parenting:

• Characteristics: Low responsiveness, low demandingness.
• Approach: Parents show little warmth, affection, or involvement in their child’s life. There are few to no expectations, rules, or guidance provided. Typically, there is minimal communication between parent and child, resulting in a disconnect.
• Outcomes for Children: In some cases, children might become very independent due to the necessity of fending for themselves. Or, the lack of parental interference allows children to explore their environment freely. Most of the time, children often suffer from low self-esteem, feelings of neglect, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. Neglectful parenting is generally seen as the most detrimental of the parenting styles. Children require a certain level of support and structure to develop into well-adjusted individuals, and neglectful parenting fails to provide the necessary environment for healthy development.

Keep in mind, that most parents do not simply fit only into one criteria or the other.

Most of the time, there is a combination of the styles at any given time. The “best” way to parent can vary depending on individual circumstances, cultural contexts, and the special needs of each child and parent. While the different parenting styles are interesting and insightful, they are not all-encompassing. At the end of the day, most parents know their children and what they need. Some of the more universal and common needs include:

• Balance of warmth and discipline
• Open communication
• Encouragement
• Positive reinforcement
• And modeling behaviors

Being a parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles a person can take on.

It involves a continuous learning process, requiring patience, flexibility, and resilience! Parenting is inherently challenging and complex, and every parent will make mistakes and face difficulties along the way. The concept of a “perfect parent” is unrealistic and can create undue pressure and stress. Instead of striving for perfection, it is more important to aim to “try your best parent” who provides a loving, supportive, and nurturing environment for their child. 

Start Working with A Family Therapist in Englewood, CO

Mountain Vista Psychology works with both parents and families to ensure the best possible mental health for everyone! Do you have questions or need support with parenting? Reach out to our team today to talk with a highly trained mental health professional! Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:

1. Schedule a free phone consultation
2. Start meeting with a caring therapist
3. Start cultivating a healthier parenting style!

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