The Intersectionality of Autism & LGBTQIA Throughout the Lifespan

If you have a child (of any age) who you think may be Autistic, has been diagnosed as Autistic, or is part of the LGBTQIA community, this blog is for you!  We will cover information about the intersectionality of these communities and how you can support them as a parent.

First, let’s cover what Autism is.

What is Autism?

In the DSM-V (the manual used to diagnose Autism), the criteria for diagnosis are broken into two sets:  Criteria A and Criteria B.

Autism Criterion A has 3 components.  

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation, to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions. 
2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication, to abnormalities in eye contact and body language, or deficits in understanding and use of gestures, to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication. 
3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts, to difficulties in sharing imaginative play in making friends, to an absence of interest in peers. 

Someone who is Autistic will meet all three of these criteria. 

Autism Criterion B has 4 components, but to meet requirements for an Autism diagnosis, someone only needs to have two of the four.  

1. Stereotyped repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases. 
2. Insistence on sameness in addition to inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualizes patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take the same route or eat the same food every day) is also commonly occurring. 
3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests). 
4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

For those who embody these characteristics, it is important to remember to protect your child’s downtime and special interests. Being active in your child’s journey and learning about ASD and LGBTQ+ identities together is recommended to create a safe, open environment.

Some Research on the Intersection of ASD and LGBTQIA

Studies Show Higher rates of gender diversity in those who are autistic due to the Shared experiences of masking and authenticity, and the fact that both involve different ways of experiencing the world. Autists are more likely to be non-heterosexual than the general population (Sarris, 2020). While 4.5% of the general population identifies as LGB (Gallup poll), a rate of 15-35% within the Autistic community identifies as LGB (Sarris, 2020). Autists are 2-3 times more likely to be LGB than the general population (Dr. Eileen Crehan quoted in Sarris 2020).

In a study involving approximately 630 individuals, 69.7% of Autistic individuals reported being non-heterosexual, while only 30% of the neurotypical group identified as being non-heterosexual (George and Stokes, 2018). Several studies suggest that Autistic men are more likely to be heterosexual than Autistic women (Dewinter et al., 2017; George and Stokes, 2018). For example, in a Dutch study, 57 percent of autistic women reported being straight, while 82 percent of autistic men reported being straight (Dewinter et al., 2017). This matters because your child’s identities are likely interconnected, not separate; this isn’t a coincidence. Both autism and LGBTQ+ identities involve experiencing and expressing oneself authentically outside societal norms.

Autism and LGBTQIA In Early Childhood

Even in early childhood (0-5), interactions between autism and an LGBTQ+ identity can be apparent. Signs can look like less adherence to gender norms, a literal understanding of gender, sensory-based clothing preferences, not picking up on social rules, intense interests, lack of pretend play, difficulty with transitions, difficulty with any cooperative play, difficulty with eye contact or picking up on emotions in others, avoiding gendered assumptions, and following their own lead in interests.

Additionally, Autistic children typically do better with structure, and they can use neutral language. With these signs, working to understand your child’s sensory needs and seeing evaluation and support in school via an IEP or 504 can help set your child up for success. Because of their unique identities, your child could experience double marginalization, which occurs when both their autistic and LGBTQ+ identities are misunderstood. Your child may struggle to connect because they’re speaking a different language than the majority.

Autism and LGBTQIA In 6-10 Year Olds

When one who is also part of the LGBTQ+ community reaches school age (6-11) there are many common experiences which parents can prepare for. These experiences can include bullying for multiple differences, confusion about social rules AND gender rules, and seeking similar peers (often other ND/LGBTQ+ kids). Strategies to prepare for this transition include being proactive, which means seeking early awareness of their differences. Parental support can also look like validating all aspects of your child’s identity, finding inclusive communities, seeking books and media with diverse characters, explicitly teaching your child about diversity, and advocating for your child’s safety needs at school. Learn about who your child is, pay attention to them, and let them show you. Autistic children often gravitate toward other marginalized children. These friendships are valuable and should be supported.

For school-aged children, along with other ages, it is important to understand the connection between gender identity and autism. Even in ages six through eleven, autistic children can be less bound by social constructs, which means they may experience gender differently. This could look like thinking about gender in a literal sense and identifying outside of the binary. 

Autism and LGBTQIA In Puberty

As your child changes through puberty, new interactions between LGBTQ+ and Autism can appear. These intersections can include sensory issues with body changes, gender dysphoria, and sensory dysphoria. At these ages, social pressure often intensifies, and masking can become exhausting, which can lead to mental health vulnerabilities. This often occurs because at these ages, social complexity increases. Support strategies through puberty can look like seeking affirming healthcare, providing sensory-friendly clothing and products, creating a clear, direct, educating, ensuring there is mental health support, and trying to facilitate peer connections. Puberty is overwhelming for any teen. For autistic LGBTQ+ youth, it can be especially challenging. Early support is crucial.

Autism and LGBTQIA In Adolescence

As your child comes into their own, adolescent intersections (12-17) between autism and LGBTQ+ can look different. Your child might begin intense research into identities and make a deep dive into LGBTQ+ culture, potentially seeking a community online. However, they may struggle with black-and-white thinking about labels, which could lead to them changing labels frequently. Through adolescence, the social landscape is much more difficult to navigate. When at a younger age it is socially acceptable to approach friendship in a more blunt and direct way, for example, asking “Want to be friends?”, in adolescence, the social landscape is more intricate and therefore can be confusing to navigate.

At this time, parental support strategies can look like understanding that identity exploration is healthy and that labels help them understand themselves. This part of their identity isn’t a “special interest” to discourage, so it is important to remember that acceptance from you and a community provides crucial support. Autistic teens may approach identity with the same intensity as other interests. This is how they process and understand themselves.

Coming out whole as autistic comes with its own set of unique considerations.

Because of their direct communication style, your child may be naive to social implications, which could cause them to not recognize unsafe situations. As a parent, it is important to try to remember new pronouns and help organize support systems. Helping your child plan coming out and scale their multiple identities can help in the coming-out process. Social transition involves many changes that can be overwhelming. Break it down into manageable steps.

Dating and relationships in adolescence can come with a new set of intersectional challenges. These can include reading social cues in dating, understanding consent/reading social cues, navigating LGBTQ+ dating norms, sensory aspects of intimacy, and navigating communication in relationships. Supportive parental approaches during this time can look like having explicit conversations about consent, practicing relationship skills, and respecting their pace. Autistic individuals can be vulnerable in unhealthy relationships, so discussing what a healthy relationship looks like is important. Autistic LGBTQ+ youth need clear, direct information about relationships. Don’t assume they’ll “figure it out.”

In these ages, there is an increased risk of depression and anxiety, suicidality (especially in trans autistic youth), eating disorders, trauma from discrimination, and burnout from masking. Protective factors at this transitional age, such as family acceptance, community connection, and affirming therapy, can help lessen the severity of mental health factors. It is important to help your child’s identity feel recognized and to accommodate their needs. The statistics are sobering, but family acceptance is the single strongest protective factor. Your support saves lives.

Autism and LGBTQIA In Young Adulthood

The intersections between an LGBTQ+ identity and autism for young adults (18-25) can come with unique challenges. Navigating healthcare, developing independent living skills, and building a chosen family can be overwhelming. College and work discrimination and accommodations are also something to be aware of. Your adult child will navigate explaining both identities, finding accepting spaces, managing without school structure, and adult service gaps. The transition to adulthood is complex. Many supports disappear at 18, making family support even more crucial.

Healthcare Navigation in young adulthood can be particularly difficult. Things to consider include:

• finding affirming and autism-informed providers
• explaining sensory needs during exams
• gender-affirming care
• medical communication challenges
• and advocating in medical settings

Your role as a parent at this age could look like researching providers, attending appointments if wanted, helping with preparation, and supporting self-advocacy. Medical settings can be overwhelming. Help your young adult develop self-advocacy skills while providing support

Employment decisions also arise in young adulthood, which can come with workplace challenges. These could be disclosure decisions for autism and/or their LGBTQ+ identity, learning to navigate workplace social dynamics, new sensory environments, understanding discrimination risks, and having difficulty networking. Although entering the workforce can come with new obstacles, there are also many strengths that being a person with autism brings to the table. These strengths can include attention to detail, creative problem solving, loyalty and dedication, unique perspectives, and authenticity. Both identities can face employment discrimination. Help your child identify affirming workplaces and know their rights.

Having a child who is autistic and identifies with the LGBTQ+ community means having a child with many strengths.

Unique gifts that often come with this intersection are authentic self-expression, challenging societal norms, creative problem-solving, deep community connections, resilience and persistence, fresh perspectives on gender/sexuality, and a strong sense of justice. These positive attributes don’t exist despite their identities, but because of them. 

In being a parent to someone who is autistic and LGBTQ+, having strong family support strategies helps set your child up for success. Daily actions such as the use of affirming language for identities, creating sensory-friendly spaces, displaying LGBTQ+ and neurodiversity symbols, connecting with similar families, educating extended family, and modeling acceptance publicity foster a safe and healthy family culture. Remember: Your family culture can be a refuge in a challenging world.  You have the power to create a family environment where your child’s full self is celebrated, not just tolerated. There are so many ways to live a beautiful life. 

As parents, we love our kids and want the best for them. 

Working with these communities has shown me so many amazing and beautiful ways to live life that are not represented in mainstream culture and media.  One of the most important things I believe we can do as parents is to let our children show us their version of a beautiful life without expecting them to model ours. 

Communicating unconditional love and acceptance is paramount in facilitating an open and safe environment for children. This can be done by using your child’s chosen name and pronouns, create predictable routines and clear expectations which can help with ASD anxiety, reduce sensory overload in stressful situations, helping them find supportive peers or groups either online or locally, working with affirming therapists familiar with both ASD and LGBTQ+ care, advocate at school for safe, inclusive environments, monitor for burnout, depression, or masking fatigue, and let them set the pace for conversations about identity.

Start Working With an Autism Therapist in Greenwood Village, CO

If you or your child needs support, we are here to help!  Our team of therapists at Mountain Vista Psychology would be happy to provide the help you deserve. We look forward to working with you and supporting you! You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:

1. Contact us, call us at 720-583-9332, or email us at info@mountainvistapsychology.com!  
2. Meet with a caring therapist
3. Start finding the affirming care you deserve!

Other Services Offered by Mountain Vista Psychology

Autism therapy isn’t the only service that our team offers from Littleton, Englewood, Hampden, and Greenwood Village, in addition to online counseling. We offer a variety of mental health services, including ADHD therapy for children, teens, and adults. Other services offered via in-person and online counseling include child counseling, teen counseling, adult counseling, family therapy, grief counseling, and therapeutic yoga. Additionally, we also offer neurofeedback therapy, including targeted neurofeedback for ADHD, ADHD testing, anxiety, concussion/TBI recovery, and sports or performance enhancement. We also conduct evaluations for learning disabilities and Autism testing. Read through the Mountain Vista blog for helpful info!