Bilingual Children: What to Expect From Communication

Your child mixes both languages in one sentence. They understand everything you say but answer in only one language. They say less than their cousin did at the same age. So, for you as a parent, this behavior comes with a running question in the back of your mind: Is this normal?

Most of the time, what you’re seeing is a child doing something genuinely complex, on a timeline that looks different from a monolingual child’s. Sometimes, what you’re seeing is worth a closer look. But telling these circumstances apart is hard when you’re the one seeing it every day.

This article is here to help you understand what you’re observing and to give you a clearer sense of when it makes sense to ask more questions.

The best place to start is with what communication actually is, because most of it has nothing to do with vocabulary lists.

What does communication look like in a bilingual child?

Communication is much more than speaking. Long before children have words, they point, they bring you things, they make eye contact, they pull you toward what they want, they use facial expressions and body language. All of that is communication, and it tells you a great deal about how a child is connecting with the people around them.

Children learning two languages also need time. Social language — the language of the playground and the dinner table — usually comes faster than academic language, which experts generally estimate takes several years to fully develop. Some children also go through a quieter stage in a newer language, where they say very little while they listen carefully to everything around them. That listening is just part of how language is built.

It’s also normal for the two languages to be uneven. A child may have more words in one language than the other, mix both in the same sentence, or use one language at home and another at school. Uneven does not mean delayed.

What tends to worry parents is not the uneven part. It’s the moments when something feels different from what they expected, in ways that are hard to put into words.

What do parents usually notice when they start to worry?

When families reach out to us, the concern often sounds like one of these:

• Other people can’t understand what my child is saying.
• My child isn’t really using either language, and isn’t communicating without words either.
• My child isn’t meeting the milestones I expected by now.
• My baby isn’t babbling, or I can’t make out what they’re saying.
• My child doesn’t seem to listen.
• My child doesn’t make much eye contact, doesn’t show much on their face, is very sensitive to sounds or textures, or repeats the same movements or routines.
• We both get frustrated because we can’t understand each other in either language.

Notice how few of these are actually about vocabulary. Most are about connection: whether a child can make themselves understood, and whether the people around them can actually reach them.

That distinction matters, because it can get lost when a parent’s concern is answered with a comment about languages.

“He’ll catch up” or what to do when your concerns are dismissed.

Many families have heard some version of the same two responses. The first is reassurance: he’ll catch up, he just needs more time, kids who speak two languages start later. The second is advice: just teach him one language so he doesn’t get confused.

Both are usually said with good intentions, and neither is a good reason to stop asking questions. Being bilingual does not cause language delays, and dropping the home language is not a treatment for anything. When a child is also not meeting other developmental milestones — including nonverbal ones — attributing everything to bilingualism can delay real support for months or years.

This is also where a lot of parental guilt lives. Some parents worry they’ve held their child back by speaking Spanish at home. Others feel guilty for not speaking their child’s stronger language well enough to help with homework. Neither of those is where the answer lies. The home language is where your child’s connection to family, identity, and history is built, and it’s a strength, not a risk factor.

So if “wait and see” doesn’t feel like enough, the next useful step is knowing what to actually look at.

What should I pay attention to besides how many words my child uses?

The first thing is that all behavior is communication. If your child is having more meltdowns, it’s worth paying attention to when and why they happen. A child who cannot yet say what they need — or cannot yet name what they’re feeling — often shows it instead. Meltdowns can be information, not just difficulty.

The second is everything that happens without words. Does your child point at what they want? Do they bring things to show you? Do they look at you when something exciting happens? Do you see a range of expressions on their face? Do they use gestures and body language to get a message across? These tell you as much as a word count does, and sometimes more.

The third is consistency across settings. Sometimes what you see at home and what the teacher sees at school are quite different, and both views are real. Comparing them, rather than choosing one, usually gives the clearest picture.

With those things in view, the question parents ask next is the practical one: how do I know whether this is worth pursuing?

When is it worth asking more questions instead of waiting?

One of the most useful questions to ask yourself is whether the difficulty shows up in both languages or only one. A child who struggles in one language but communicates well in the other is usually navigating language learning. When communication is hard in both languages, that is more likely to be worth exploring further.

It’s also worth asking questions when communication isn’t the only thing that feels hard. If behavior, emotional regulation, and learning at school are all difficult at the same time, those pieces tend to be connected, and looking at them together is more useful than looking at any one alone.

Finally, it matters when communication has become a barrier inside the family itself. This shows up often with older children and teens who speak English all day at school and slowly lose the ease of talking to their parents in the home language. That’s not just a language issue. It affects how close a family can stay.

If any of that sounds familiar, the next question is usually about what asking for help actually looks like.

How can guidance or an evaluation help?

The first step is often simpler than families expect: a conversation with your pediatrician and your child’s teacher about what you’re noticing, in both settings. You do not need clinical language to start. Describing what you see is enough.

When concerns continue, an evaluation can help clarify what is and isn’t happening. A comprehensive evaluation looks at how your child communicates, learns, and manages emotions, and at what strengths they bring. The purpose is understanding, not labeling, and sometimes the outcome is reassurance rather than a diagnosis.

For bilingual families, one practical detail matters: finding professionals who can work in both languages can be genuinely hard, and it’s a fair thing to ask about up front. At Mountain Vista, evaluations for bilingual children are conducted by bilingual psychologists, with the parent interview available in Spanish and testing done in the language your child is most comfortable using.

That access is part of what makes asking questions realistic rather than one more obstacle.

Support for bilingual families across the Denver metro area

Mountain Vista Psychology has locations in Englewood, Greenwood Village, Littleton, and Denver, and provides counseling and psychological evaluations for children, teens, adults, couples, and families across the Denver metro area. Telehealth may also be available for clients located in Colorado, depending on the service and provider availability.

Evaluations are available for children beginning at two years old, which means families do not have to wait for school to raise a concern before asking questions of their own.

If you’ve been carrying a question about your child’s communication for a while, you’re not behind, and you don’t need to be certain before you ask.

Start the conversation with what you’re noticing

You do not have to know exactly what kind of support your child needs before reaching out. You can start with what you are noticing: the frustration at the dinner table, the comment from the teacher, the feeling that your child has something to say and can’t get there yet.

Asking questions is not a sign that you did something wrong, and it’s not a lack of respect toward the professionals who have already reassured you. Your observations are some of the most valuable information anyone working with your child can have.

A first conversation can help you understand whether an evaluation makes sense for your family, or whether what you’re seeing is simply your child building two languages at their own pace.

Call Mountain Vista Psychology to ask about counseling, psychological evaluations, and bilingual support for children and teens in Englewood, Greenwood Village, Littleton, Denver, and the surrounding metro area.

This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone in your family is in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis, call 911 or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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FAQs

Does speaking two languages cause a speech delay?

No. Being bilingual does not cause language delays. Children learning two languages may develop each one on a different timeline, but bilingualism itself is not the cause of a delay.

Should we keep speaking Spanish at home?

Yes. The home language supports your child’s connection to family and identity, and removing it does not resolve a communication concern.

My child understands both languages but only answers in one. Is that a problem?

That pattern is common in bilingual children and is not a concern on its own. What matters more is whether your child can make themselves understood, with or without words.

How do I know if the concern is language learning or something else?

One useful question is whether communication is difficult in both languages or only one. Difficulty in both is more likely to be worth exploring further.

Can a bilingual child be evaluated in both languages?

Yes. At Mountain Vista, bilingual psychologists conduct the evaluation; the parent interview can be done in Spanish, and testing is done in the language your child prefers.

What if I’m not sure it’s serious enough to call?

You don’t need to be sure. You can start by describing what you’re noticing.